很多時候都覺得自己的內心有個黑洞或是一團迷霧，總是惶惶不安覺得自己存在於另一個世界，本研究透過繪畫創作將成長過程、個性特質與生命本質作明確的分析，釐清為何自己總有迷霧縈繞於心；藉由創作觀察、省視表像的自我，面對真實的自己並和內心的靈魂對話，揭示自己的內心世界。自己在生命歷程中如何被看待，如何被認同，透過分析繪畫型式的演變及各階段產出不同的創作型式自我回溯、自我覺察，瞭解意識與潛意識、真實與夢境，交互的影響轉換，用自省的態度作為觀察自我的方法，重新審視自我的真實樣貌。創作脈絡的演進順序分別為「尋找自我」「內在自我」系列。以自己的經歷、感受為創作起緣，透過具像的形式來表現尋找自己的過程。自一開始對探索內在的阻抗及外在表現仍然有掙扎、矛盾之感，到最後理解自己敏感特質帶給自己的不適是創作的能量，創作表現出的任何面向皆是自我的感受，而創作研究的種種收穫皆是自我存在的證據。 Sometimes I feel there is a black hole or a fog in my mind. I seem to exist in another world, and the feeling makes me always be disturbed and on tenderhooks. The goal of the research is to analyze definitely my growing process, personalities and the innate character through painting creations, and try to clarify why the fog is in my mind. I faced my true self, talked to my spirit of the heart and disclosed the world in my mind by means of the observation of creations and the surface of the self. Through analyzing the style-shift of paintings, I understood how I had been treated and cognized in the life process by self-review and self-awareness. Through the interaction of the conciseness and the subconsciousness, the truth and the dream, I had observed myself with introspection and reviewed the real image of the self.The series of develop process are “Looking for the Self” and “the Innate Self” in creating context order. On the basis of my experiences and feelings, I had been looking for the self through specific images. From discovering the innate self with the resistance and external struggles to understanding the creating energy because of the sensitive character, every dimension from creations came from the feelings of the self, and all harvests of the creative research were evidences to show the exist of the self.
